Love ,Relationships,Harmony,citizenship and world peace

LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Today is February 6th .Visakham star.Ashtami thithi .A vyazhavatta (12 years ) have passed silently but very fruitfully after my book on Krishna(Sandrananda )was released at Cochin.My relation with Krishna ,started at a stage of infancy has matured at the age of 64 .64 Years and 64 kalas /arts have been dedicated to Krishna in silent service.

Theodore Sizer remarked that it is better for one teacher to teach two subjects for 25 students,than teaching one subject to 50 students.The proportion if we take the Indus valley proportions of measurement will be like this:
Subjects No:of students
1 50 50
2 25 25
4 12.5 12-13
8 6.25 6-7
16 3.125 3-4
32 1.5625 1-2
64 0.78125 1

The more the years of contact between the two people ,the more will be the shared experiences and more will be the bondage .Thus a Gurukula with a Guru/shishya was considered a rare relationship where students learn from a loved,respected person everything needed for life and for posterity to remember.A great Guru could transfer all the knowledge of 64 arts and sciences to one great disciple who will bear the torch to next generation.In a village all children are taught same basics ,and the students with talent were able to pursue the enquiry further with experts in more famous centers where they lived with Guru .
Krishna,though an avathar had lived in a gurukula ,just like any other child of his age ,obeying all human laws .
Whether in a Guru/shishya or wife/husband relationship an intellectually emotional bond is essential for a lifelong romantic love and mutual respect.When we speak of a romantic love ,most people equate it with the infatuations the teen age children have with the opposite sex.That romantic feeling can have two types of course:
1.It fades away either due to familiarity or due to facts /trials and tribulations of life.
2.It matures into a longlasting deep friendship in which tinges of the vestiges of the old romantic feeling persists subtly leading to a sort of deep bliss or happiness to both partners in their relationship.
Intellectual examination of the romantic love gives us this everlasting friendship.There is a permanent commitment to friendship and love in this type of friendship.It is a beautiful experience which a human being cherishes forever.
In relationships it is the shared activities and interests that keep up a shared commitment.If a wife/husband has a commitment to the other’s professional commitments ,and understands them well naturally the relationship will strengthen .The continuance of mutual interest in actions and interests of the other helps eternal friendships possible between the two.There is interpersonal growth in both individuals which is visible to all .The Guru-Shishya are both visibly happy and blessed by the relationship and every onlooker feel the change in them.This is an ideal relationship.If such a relation happen in a marriage that is an ideal marriage (Ch 9 Interpersonal growth Part 2 Educating for personal life.pp 179-194 Happiness and education Nel Noddings).
The dramatic differences in habits,tastes ,personality and lifestyle of a couple(any two people) can lead to imperfections in that relationship.If the organic habits of two people are not aesthetically creating a harmonious whole how do wise people hide such imperfections in relationships?
They keep silence ,reserve to save such a imperfect ,yet necessary relationship as marriage etc.What the media is talking about hypocrisy in relationship is this silence for saving a relationship.I am not saying whether this is correct or not.But ,this is a fact .The lifelong marriages are saved not by the perfections in it,but by the mature,wise,silence ,reserve shownby one of the partners,either the male or the female.They try to forget and forgive or to make a cover for what is not there.

The ideal friendship which we are talking about is not that. The perfect relationship gives eternal happiness or bliss and is not a saved relationship by sacrifice of one of the parties.Both get bliss out of it.We know pleasure is different for different stages of our life.The concept change as we grow up from a child to a teenager upto the mature old age.The love that lasts till old age ,unconditionally ,without expecting anything from the other,yet in perfect harmony with the other is the true love.Perfect friendship is that of two people who have similar virtues,similar interests,value the friend for friendship itself and such a person with virtuous friendship will be friend of all.Like Krishna.The love and friendship not for any selfish motive but for love and friendship itself.They do not betray the faith of a friend.They enjoy in the happiness of the friend without any other thought or jealousy .
To be a good friend one has to know the friend thouroughly.To understand a friend we need contact with friends.The perfect friendship a Guru and shishya develop in a Gurukula is by this mutual relation.The perfect relation we expect from a marriage is such a mutual understanding.
Only a few get this perfect unconditional love.Those who get it are lucky,chosen ones.
They have romantic,aesthetic and intellectual friendship which keeps them eternally happy,blissful.
This is the true Bhakthy and ecstacy between Bhagavan and Bhaktha,between Guru and shishya and between twp lovers (Radha/Krishna or Shiva/Shakthy).
These interpersonal relationship has to come from each home .This will educate us how to conduct in public life.Teach us how to contribute to other people’s happiness.Our fulfillment as members of society,as citizens of our nation and of the world will come only by that .
The public life starts with our profession/occupation.The profession balances the distinctive capacity of an individual with his/her social service.What opportunity one gets to do that ,and how much one utilize that opportunity is what matters.Profession and choice of profession depends upon several factors and thus opportunity for helping others also is depending upon these factors.More than that,whatever profession is chosen,the help we offer depend upon our mental make up too.A person may make lot of money out of profession ,but may not contribute to society.On the other hand a person who had not made an economic success in life might contribute to society by service.So it is not economic success alone that counts for enlightened citizenship but a mental make up to do so.A person may be rich but his wife’s uxuries may be never ending and even if he wants to do social service he may not find enough to spare for such causes. Thus when the great pathologist William Osler said that “Medical profession is a noble profession for those who are noble”,he meant it for all professions.
If we contribute both interpersonally and intrapersonally and at our old age ,when we look back we have nothing to regret and we feel satisfaction we have been successful in our life.If we are complaining about our life,our opportunities,our friends and we are not satisfied with our ornaments,costly dresses and luxurious apartments and vehicles etc and of the fame and awards we received ,of the positions we had etc we have not matured gracefully.Both personal and professional life offer us with a variety of opportunities to serve all around us and what we have to do is to be aware of that blessing and utilize it .We will be happy individuals then.We will be friends of the entire world then.
A democracy can survive only on such values.The humanity needs such values for its survival.The entire globe needs a harmonious ecofriendly relationship like this ,respecting and loving all and cherishing all as blessings of the mother nature.
This is best exemplified by the physical,mental,intellectual and spiritual health through the medium of saamaveda ,the saama music of universal love and peace.